Monday, October 09, 2006

Topic ~ Describe a relationship with a Sibling

I have both a younger sister and brother, however my relationship with my sister has seen the most dynamic changes from childhood to adulthood.

We were very close as children but were very competitive with each other as well. I have so many memories of those early years together playing dolls, running in the corn field and making forts, riding bikes, running away to the big tree down the lane. As the "Big Sister", I was followed constantly. This was fine when we were younger but became problematic as I entered my pre-teen years. She wanted to dress like me, do all the same activities, have the same friends etc. I'm sure you can imagine how well that went over with me. This was the beginning of a time I refer to as "The Tribulation". I think if you asked my parents they would say there were times it felt like a living (H E double hockey sticks) at our house. I was very dramatic which of course meant my little sister had to be ubber-dramatic (remember the competitive thing).

However mean we were to each other or irritated by the constant one~up~men~ship we protected each other from outside criticism or attack. I remember my sister smacking a kid on the bus who pushed me and said something mean. Another time I carried her home when she fell and cut her chin on a rock while being chased by the neighbor boy. (I think those were her first stitches). A cruel as I could be to her during those teenage years I still stuck up for her around school and with friends. ( I am sure she has some story when I didn't nobody's perfect but for the most part I had her back even when she didn't know it).

During the worst of "The Tribulation" there were battles over stealing clothes, stealing friends, stealing boyfriends (do you see a theme here). Eventually, we went our separate ways and became very different people much to my relief. I don't know why it bothered me so much that she followed me and copied me, looking at it now I should have been flattered. Ok, truth be told I wanted to be myself, different, creative, an individual hard to do that with a tag along who seemed to want to copy every move you made. By the time I headed to college we had virtually no relationship we had settled into a state of you ignore me I'll ignore you. We didn't see much of each other during those college years as we lived far apart from each other. Getting together only during holidays which seemed brutal at the time. Slowly we came to a sister understanding and began to get close again so much so that I asked her to be my maid of honor.

Our relationship grew the most when she moved in with my husband and me after graduating college. She lived with us for several months while she looked for a job and a place to live. It seemed each time she crossed the threshold of a shared experience were grew closer. Graduating college and living on her own, getting married, buying her first house, having a baby etc. Eventually, we were living parallel experiences but as two unique individuals with our own styles, desires, personalities etc. I truly believe it was the shared experiences that brought us back to a close relationship. Just as in childhood, shared experiences drew us together and over time bonded us to each other in adulthood. How does someone understand the ups and downs of marriage until they are married. Or the joys and horrors of first motherhood if they haven't had a child yet? The financial strain of saving for your first house cannot be fully understood by someone who hasn't been there yet. Many times I was the first to cross these thresholds but there have been times my sister bravely walked through a new door and I reluctantly followed behind. She was the first to find a real faith and relationship with Jesus Christ and has taught me much about how to walk in faith. What matters is not who moves first but that we bring each other along for the ride and share what we have learned the good, the bad and the ugly. "We were born sisters but we choose to be friends", may be an old saying but for us it is so true.

The bond of sisterhood is stronger now then it has ever been and I am proud to call her my best friend.

3 comments:

loonyhiker said...

This was such a moving story. I really enjoyed reading it and I'm glad you shared it.

Unknown said...

Very moving and touching.

carin.c said...

A wonderful sister story - thanks for sharing!